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The Irreverent Guide to Everything That Matters

featuring vIdeos with Jack Black, Sergio Aragones, Gilbert Hernandez, El Vez, Chunky Sanchez, Guillermo Gomez-Peña, Astrid Hadad, and hosted by that irrespressible masked Mexican Wrestler, Lou Chalibre! Click Here

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Save Our Centro Coalition

A coalition of grass-roots Chicano artists, activists, educators, students, social justice organizations and community members working to stop the corporate Board takeover of the Centro Cultural de la Raza in San Diego and to restore its mission of service to the community.

10/27/03 Be afraid...be very afraid Scary Monsters and Super Creeps in the White House   click here for full picture

10/13/03

"Indians not paying their fair share" says Gübernor on Columbus Day

by Victor Payan

Sackramento, CA - Gübernor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger told a Columbus Day crowd yesterday that he admired men like Christopher Columbus and Hernan Cortez for coming to the new world, creating jobs,

helping balance the budget of Spain without raising taxes and dealing with Indians who were not paying their fair share....more

Bush unveils plan to find WMDs in Iraq President-neglect George W. Bush unveiled his administration's latest plan to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. "We are utilizing the latest scientrifical technology and are confident that we will soon find the WMDs in the places we know they were placed," said Bush. Click here for a demonstration of the new technology.

10/07/03

Schwarzenegger Gübernatorial Filmography Quick-Guide

Since Arnold Schwarzenegger has refused to debate key issues in public and instead has made ready use of his films "The Terminator" and "Total Recall" during the California recall campaign, here is a quick guide to his possible views based on the rest of the Schwarzenegger filmography.

On unemployment: Stay Hungry
On his plans for Native Americans: Raw Deal
On Prop. 54 and Affirmative Action: Eraser
On women then: Conan The Barbarian
On women now: Predator
On the sexual harrassment allegations: True Lies
On his economic policies: Conan The Destroyer
On cuts to social programs: Collateral Damage
On the environment: Red Heat
On prison reform: Pumping Iron
On education: Kindergarten Cop
On undocumented immigrants: The Running Man
On Hitler: The Last Action Hero
On Pete Wilson: Twins
On his buddies at Enron: Jingle All The Way
On becoming Governor: Terminator 2 - Judgment Day

'Nuff said. Vote.

- vp

No on recall
No on 54
No on 53
No on Republican coup attempt # 2

09/16/03

Amtrak announces Fiestas Repatrias travel program on all southbound trains

by Victor Payan, Pocho Travel Burro

In recognition of California's 30% Latino population and the fact that the state may soon have a Latino governor, Amtrak has announced special one-way southbound vacation travel fares to Mexico in effect from September 16 until after the California recall election. The Amtrak program, called Fiestas Repatrias, is scheduled to coincide with Mexican Independence Day, Hispanic Heritage Month and the annual Orange County Greaser Festival....more

9/05/03

US robots blow fuse over lost jobs

by Victor Payan

 

Robots across the United States are buzzing with rage as tens of thousands of domestic robotics jobs continue to be lost to cheaper machines overseas.

The steady hum of activity has been replaced by eerie silence as assembly lines from California to New York are shutting down. Automated production jobs, which were once at the core of the American post-industrial economy, are being shipped to locales with lax labor standards such as India, Pakistan, Indonesia, China, Afghanistan, Iraq, Liberia, North Korea and Texas....more

08/22/02

Latinos Furious Over New Ad Campaign

by Victor Payan

Pocho Medias Watcher

Latino organizations are furious over a new publicity campaign launched by a Madison Avenue advertising firm to promote the Latino-oriented malt beverage Tequiza.

In the first controversial commercial, a young, spicy afro-Latino spokesmodel named Ricky Martin Luther King, is digitally superimposed into footage of civil rights speeches where he talks about civil rights and their connection to drinking Tequiza. The so-called "I Have a Drink!" ad has infuriated both the Latino and African American communities....more.

08/07/02

Bush to staff:
"Dude, where's my war?"

by Victor Payan

Pocho Foreign News Burro

Sources close to the White House claim that President-neglect George W. Bush has become noticeably irritated, due to the international community's lack of support for his proposed attack on Iraq.

According to reports, a rankled Bush has been pacing around the Oval Office all week screaming, "Dude, where's my war?"...more

07/20/02

Bush, Cheney head "Not See" Party, says scholar

by Victor Payan

Pocho War on Terror Corrrespondent

In a report released earlier this week, a noted scholar has dubbed the Bush/Cheney administration the "Not See" Party, due to their mounting alleged intelligence failures and civil rights violations, which include the 9/11 bombings, the uncanny number of Florida terrorist connections, and the blatant piracy of corporations close to the administration, such as Enron, Worldcom and George W. Bush's own corporation, Global ConQuest....more

01/14/02

Suspicious Bush pretzel incident adds insult to inquiry

by Victor Payan

Pocho "All the President's Menudo" Correspondent

 

In one of the lamest excuses ever devised to cover up a presidential health issue in the history of political intrigue, a physician for George W. Bush announced that the President-neglect fainted and bruised his face after choking on a pretzel.

"When we found him, his speech was slurred, he was rambling incoherently, and he had a glazed look in his eyes," said his physician. "That's how we knew he was okay." ...more

11/12/01 

"Politics makes strange goodfellas," says Bush

by Victor Payan Pocho New Kind of War Correspondent In a nationally-televised press conference on Saturday, President-neglect George W. Bush said that the war on terror was a new kind of war and that it could last for many years. Shortly thereafter, an e-mail was circulated on the internet saying that CNN was actually rebroadcasting footage from Bush's first "New Kind of War" press conference, which was held in September....more.

10/09/01

CDC warns that Bushlexia is "contagerous"

The face of a man and a chimp (left) ravaged by the dreaded effects of Bushlexia.

by Victor Payan

Pocho Center Health and Humor Services

The Center for Disease Control issued a warning today that Bushlexia, the terrible disorder that destroys rational thinking and speech centers of the brain, can be spread from person to person.

"New evidence shows that Bushlexia is contagerous," said CDC spokeswoman Dr. Ann Thrax. ...more.

10/03/01

Bush speech mix-up startles students

 

by Victor Payan
Pocho School Desk

In an embarrassing blunder, President-neglect George W. Bush accidentally switched a speech he had prepared for Congress with the text for his talk to first graders at a Washington DC elementary school today. The mix-up sent audible ripples of concern throughout the first grade class, while many Congressmen were touched by the President's impassioned reading of "The Cat in the Hat." more.

(above) Bush poses for a photo op using schoolchildren to shield him from reporters.

09/10/01

Second Latin Grammys Celebrate Latino Roots Amid Controversy

Latin recording artists Cristina Aguilera, Shakira and Eminem proudly display their Latin roots at last year's Latin Grammy awards.

by Victor Payan

Pocho Resident Alien Musicoloco

The Second Annual Latin Grammy Awards are slated to take place tomorrow, but already the event is receiving much criticism from members of the Latin music community. Many Latino artists claim that they are being excluded from the ceremony by producer Emilio Estefan and his so-called Miami Mafia. Critics also maintain that a separate event treats Latino musicians as second-class artists.

"This is just not true," says Sepero Boricual, a spokesman for Estefan's production company, Estefan Fetchitt. "Emilio and Gloria believe that all Latin cultures are beautiful, but some are more beautiful than others."...more

07/21/01

Bush Livin' La Dolce Vita Loca at G8 summit in Genoa

President-neglect George W. Bush and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi pass protestors on their way to a G8 summit meeting in Genoa.

by Victor Payan Pocho Operation G8 Keeper Correspondent More than a 100,000 angry protestors have gathered in Genoa, Italy to voice their concerns about the harmful effects of globalization, as the leaders of the seven wealthiest nations and Russia meet to discuss how to carve up the resources of the other 231 nations of the world. The eight leaders who make up the so-called "G8" alliance reportedly discussed such issues as AIDS in Africa, free trade, the Kyoto global warming accord, the proposed Bush missile defense system, and different ways to ignore the presence of more than 100,000 angry protestors....more

06/11/01

MEXICANADA: Immigrants bypassing US for friendly neighbor to the north

by Victor Payan
Pocho Northern Mexposure Correspondent

A recent study from the Canadian Undocumented Labor Office (CULO) shows that greater numbers of undocumented immigrants are bypassing the US on their journey north, preferring to seek a better life in Canada. Analysts say this could have major consequences for the US economy, agriculture, Republican scapegoating and sales of leaf blowers....more

05/05/01

California artist unveils Cinco de Milo statue

by Victor Payan

Pocho Boreder Art Critic

To commemorate Cinco de Mayo, California artist Pablo Picoso cut the arms off the statue of a Mexican man reaching up with hands outstretched that he had erected in his yard.

It was a tough decision, but I did what I had to do," explains Picoso, who has named the statue the "Cinco de Milo."...more.

04/30/01

President-neglect Bush gives a shout out to the devil for a successful first 100 days in office.

THE WORST HUNDRED DAYS Bush sets presidential record for reneging on campaign promises . by Victor Payan Pocho Political Pundit In a political coup de foie gras that will become known in the history books as the "Raw Deal," President-neglect George W. Bush has shocked pundits and political analysts by reneging on all of his campaign promises within the first 100 days since he and Vice President Dick Cheney seized office in January. Bush narrowly beat out his father, George Bush Sr., the previous record-holder, who took a full 102 days to break all of his campaign promises back in 1989....more.

03/29/01

02/23/01

Evidence suggests Bush trip to Mexico was faked

by Victor Payan
Pocho Noticiero Informal de Informes Informativos

The internet is buzzing with rumors that President-neglect Bush's historic visit to Mexico was faked. Individuals from throughout Mexico and the U.S. are flooding chatrooms and Oldies radio programs with evidence suggesting that Bush never set foot on Mexican soil, but was actually somewhere between the Nueces River and the Rio Grande.

The "faked visit" story broke yesterday in a chatroom on Yahoo!'s Mexican counterpart, Ajua! ...more

01/31/01

Bush to recognize ruthless Taliban as "faith-based organization"

by Victor Payan
Pocho Christian Political Science Monitor

In a surprise move which many are calling the actions of a first-class divider, President- neglect George W. Bush announced that he will recognize the Taliban, Afghanistan's brutal fundamentalist Moslem ruling party, as a "faith-based organization" eligible for US federal assistance....more

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