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Home |
- 05/18/99
Native American Group Decries Irony
of Deploying
Apache Helicopters in War Against Ethnic Cleansing
by Victor Payan
Pocho Medicine Manager
REMEMBRANCE, AZ - President Clinton responded today to protests from a
group of 24 Apaches who argue that the American military's deployment of
24 Apache helicopters to fight in a war against ethnic cleansing is "a
sick and cruel joke and an offense to Native Americans everywhere."
Between a heartfelt apology for the bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade
and a heartfelt apology for the white-on-white shooting in Littleton, Colorado
and the white-on-white shooting in Conyers, Georgia, President Clinton
issued a heartfelt apology to all Native Americans upset over this bitter
irony.
"I'm sorry," the President told the group. "I feel your
pain, really. In fact, this whole affair leaves me completely red-faced.
I mean, it doesn't take an Indian to ride up on a horse and shed a tear
to realize the heap big irony of all this."
Geronimo Redroad, leader of the irate Apaches, reminded the President that
the US governments' official war of ethnic cleansing against the Apaches
did not end until 1900, just fourteen years before the first war of ethnic
cleansing in Europe. During the forty-year war against the Apaches, American
soldiers had orders to "kill every Indian man capable of bearing arms
and capture the women and children."*
Redroad also noted that the European policy of ethnic cleansing on this
continent spanned several centuries. Redroad reminded the President about
the Pequot War of 1637 in which Puritans in Massachussetts burned 700 Indians
alive in an act which Cotton Mather described as "a sweet sacrifice
and...gave the praise thereof to God." At the end of that conflict,
the Puritans captured the remaining Pequots and sold them into slavery
in Bermuda.*
Clinton acknowledged the historical resistance of real Apaches against
genocide in this country, adding "We cannot tolerate a society which
engages in or benefits from ethnic cleansing or forced relocations of any
kind. I have no reservations about this."
In an apparent act of reconciliation, Clinton added. "Hey, I'm on
your side. I wore a buckskin jacket in college. I saw 'Little Big Man'
when it came out. I drive a Jeep Cherokee. There's no need to go on the
war path about this. Can't we all just fight no more forever?"
Clinton attempted to appease the Apaches by offering them an all-expense-paid
trip to Disneyworld in Florida. To his amazement, the Apaches laughed and
spoke to each other in theirnative language for several seconds before
Redroad replied, "Thanks but no thanks."
The President also reportedly told the Apaches that if any of them "wanted
to light up" a peace pipe, he would gladly smoke it with them.
© 1999 Victor Payan
* This is true. Look it up.
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