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02/23/01
Evidence suggests
Bush trip to Mexico was faked
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02/23/01
American dud on American soil!
Evidence suggests Bush trip to Mexico was faked
by Victor Payan
Pocho Noticiero Informal de Informes Informativos
The internet is buzzing with rumors that President-neglect Bush's historic
visit to Mexico was faked. Individuals from throughout Mexico and the U.S.
are flooding chatrooms and Oldies radio programs with evidence suggesting
that Bush never set foot on Mexican soil, but was actually somewhere between
the Nueces River and the Rio Grande.
The "faked visit" story broke yesterday in a chatroom on Yahoo!'s
Mexican counterpart, Ajua!
Late last night, intrepid net-xicans began posting messages citing irregularities
in the official press photos from the alleged trip. Then the floodgates
opened. In one photo, a Landry's Seafood House is clearly visible in the
background. In another, Bush is holding what appears to be a Whataburger
next to a statue of defunct singing sensation Selena. And most disturbing
of all is the presence of a bumper sticker on Vicente Fox's limousine which
reads "No Meces Con Tejas."
"The photos are one thing, but the most compelling evidence is the
footage of the landing," says Howie Tado, editor of the internet news
source No Mames.
"If you'll notice, when Air Force One touches down, why is there no
dust being thrown up? Everybody knows Mexico is dusty. But yet there's no
dust. Do you know why? Because it was all shot in a studio...and that studio
was not in Mexico!"
Tado believes that Bush may have actually visited Brownsville or Corpus
Christi. If so, the question remains, how much didn't the President-neglect
know and when didn't he know it?
"It is quite possible that Bush thought he really was in Mexico,"
says Tado. "You know, he has never visited south Texas, and there are
a lot of Mexicans in south Texas. And let's not forget, Bush has surrounded
himself with the same people who tricked Reagan into visiting the Nazi graveyard
in Bitburg by telling him it was a miniature golf course."
Conspiracy theorists speculate that the entire trip could have easily been
faked by the CIA, or its counterpart in Mexico, the CIA.
The compelling evidence that the Mexico visit was faked will no doubt haunt
the President-neglect for some time, as many continue to ask the age-old
question: where was George?
Bush spokesman Aryan Felcher claims the rumors are as false as those of
election tampering in Florida or of Bush's alleged cocaine use.
Felcher cites the presence of reporters and videotaped newsbriefings during
the trip as signs of authenticity. Tado, however, says these were faked,
too.
"Those weren't real reporters," he asserts. "Ten minutes
after the photo ops, these so- called 'reporters' were bussing tables and
making margaritas. I located and spoke to one of these 'journalists,' and
let's just say he recommended the chile verde. Come on, do you think real
reporters would ask such soft ball questions? And besides, Mexico's newscasters
are all blond!"
Many also suspect a rolling news black-out from the mainstream media regarding
this potentially devastating scandal. It is a theory that would explain
the light coverage of the second bombing of Iraq, the pending trillion dollar
tax cut, and the numerous SNAFUs in the sinking of the Japanese fishing
boat by the Navy submarine.
The President-neglect, however, did make the following statement to PBS
newsman Jim Lehrer regarding his trip to Mexico.
"If the definition of a trip to Mexico is the trip that I took, then
yes I believe I took a trip to Mexico," said Bush, adding, "The
trip to Mexico was mainly symbolic. I believe I took a very symbolic trip
to Mexico."
© 2001 Victor Payan
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